Guilty Conscience
by trishaj48
Summary: Do two WRONGS ever make a right? Or do they only cause something to fall apart? Gil and Sara are each fighting to make since of a wrong they committed, how will they face each other? What will happen when they do? As always CSI and it's characters belong to other I just borrow them and I think them for letting me.
1. Chapter 1

Guilty Conscience

What Gil thought he did wrong:

It had rained for six days straight, nothing unusual for this time of year, everyone had developed a bad case of cabin fever, Gil was no exception. The first evening it stopped raining Gil had trouble sleeping, it was such a beautiful night. He decided a walk might help, at first he thought about getting dressed but, what the heck, he had on his sleeping pants.

"Professor," a soft voice called from a nearby stump, "I thought I was the only one out."

Grissom smiled and pointed toward the sky, "The moon is so full and I guess I just needed to get out of the hut."

The young woman walked over to where he was standing, "I hadn't noticed."

Amber was a brilliant student and very pleasing to the eyes, without a doubt every man wanted to be with her but she had her eyes set on Professor Gilbert Grissom. More then one time she had made that fact crystal clear.

Amber lay her head against his arm and let out a soft sigh, "It is so beautiful."

Gil was not sure what came over him, maybe his hormones kicked into high gear.

Gil pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Quick to respond to the advances form the one man she had wanted almost from day one, Amber slipped her hand into his sleeping pants and started to stroke his manhood. Gil's kiss deepened, his hands moved under her top to caress her soft breasts. His manhood started to react to her touch.

His body was on fire, he had every intention of releasing her from her slacks and quenching that fire. He moved his hand from her breasts toward the waist of her pants, he eased his hand in, felling the heat of her as his fingers danced around her nub bring soft moans of pleasure.

"Let's finish this someplace more private," she whispered.

It only took a few minutes to reach her hut, quickly they undressed. Gil kissed her as his fingers once more attacked her.

Amber's body shuddered as her release came over her, "I need you inside me, Gilbert."

Gil froze. "Gilbert"! His mind was suddenly focused. Sara was the only one who called him that.

Gil stopped, got off the bed and slipped his pants back on, "I can't. I'm sorry. It should never have gone this far."

Gil left and headed back to his hut. Sitting on the bed he picked up a picture of Sara.

"How could I? What was I thinking?" He had never felt so guilty. "Sara will never forgive me for what I have done."

The next day Gil went to find Amber, to explain, to apologize for what had almost happened. He found out from one of the others that Amber's husband was hurt in a car accident and she had to fly home. Finding out she was married made him feel twice as guilty. For the next two weeks he kept his phone turned off, avoiding all contact with Sara.

He knew he had to tell her, he just was not sure how.

What Sara thought she did wrong:

Sara knew the weather had been bad, that cell service was out of the question, but the weather had cleared so she didn't know why for the last two weeks, his phone went straight to voice mail. She had called the Brook's, the people that owned the hotel where they stayed whenever she went to be with him. They told her that they could think of no reason why she couldn't get a hold of him, Mrs. Brook even said she had seen him in the village a few times.

Sara asked her if she would please tell Gil she was trying to reach him if she seen him again. Pam Brooks said she would.

Sara went from concern to anger in less then a heartbeat. She really needed to talk to him, but it would appear that he just couldn't be bothered. Sara turned off the phone and instead of going home she went to the bar.

We all know what can happen when drunk women and horny men get together, the next morning Sara woke up in a strange room with a strange man laying next to her. She pulled the sheet over herself to cover her naked body.

"Oh my god," she cried, "We didn't!"

The man smiled, "Not for lack of trying. We got into it really good, just as you squirted all over my hand you mumbled something that sounded like 'Gilbert' then passed out. But now that you're awake…"

The man reached for her.

Sara flew from the bed and retrieved her clothing, "I can't. I'm married. I'm sorry."

The man tossed back his side of the sheet, exposing an already erect penis, "I am too. What they don't know wont hurt them. Let's finish what we started, I got a boner that needs tending too."

Sara pulled on her clothing and quickly left. She walked across the street to a small dinner and ordered coffee, trying to make since of what had happened. Bits and pieces slowly came back. Sara remembered she had to much to drink, and a man that showed an interest in her.

She remembered how kissing and touching led to the hotel room she woke up in.

She remembered his hands touching her in places that no man should touch but her husband, and touching him.

She didn't remember actual penetration.

How could she have let something like that happen? How could she have made such a foolish mistake.

Sara remembered they had taken his car so she called a cab to get hers and then she went home.

Sara fired up her laptop, nothing from Gil. She checked her voice mail, nothing there either.

"It's all for the best," she said, falling into a chair and crying, "He can never forgive what I did. I guess I don't deserve him."

Fate Intervenes:

All this happened two weeks ago. Neither had seen the other and if there was any contact it was short and very distant. Both were trying to make since of what had happened. They both knew that they had to confess their indiscretion but neither know how, so neither was in a hurry to initiate conversation. Each was fighting their own guilty feelings.

Sara had become distant at work, avoiding everyone unless it was work related.

Gil shut himself off from the world too.

Then it happened.

Gil received a telegram reminding him of a commitment he had made to a friend.

Three years ago Gil had talked a friend of his into conducting a seminar for him with the promise that he would return the favor "at a time to be determined later". His friend was getting married and had just called in the favor. Gil got a leave of absence and was on the first flight back to the states.

Sara walked into the lab and was told that DB wanted to see her, "ASAP". Sara went to his office. It was there that she was told it was once more time for some refresher courses and her name was at the top of the list. Sara was going back to school.

Gil stood facing the board as the students filed in the room. All the time he was writing he was thanking the power that be that it was Keith that needed the favor and not Adam. You see Adam teaches at WLVU and he didn't want to take the chance of running into Sara in Vegas. At least here in San Francisco he wouldn't have to worry about it. Or would he?

Gil cleared his throat and turned to face the class, "My name is Professor Grissom."

From the back of the room he thought he heard some one gasp, his eyes followed the sound. Gil found himself looking into the eyes of his wife.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Sara just stared for a minute. She stood and as she turned to leave the classroom she ran straight into a late arrival and fell - right on her bottom. Gil went to her, taking her hand he helped her up.

"You were going someplace?" he asked stating the obvious.

The young man she ran into picked up her books and apologized.

"I'm fine," Sara told him, "It wasn't your fault."

Sara never had trouble reading the expression in Gil's eyes and this time was no different. They needed to talk.

"Coffee after class?" he asked.

Sara nodded and walked out the door. Two hours later she was sitting in the campus coffee shop when Gil walked in. Gil picked up his order and went to where she was sitting. For the next fifteen minutes they just sat and stared at each other, neither knowing what to say. Three or four times they each started to say something but stopped.

"I need to tell you something but here is not the place to do it," Gil finally said, "I have a room here on campus."

"I need to tell you something too," Sara said.

Gil stood and pulled out her chair for her. They walked across campus in silence, both rehearsing what they would say.

In the room Gil offered her a drink.

"No thanks," she said, "Those can get you in trouble."

Gil pointed the small couch and sat. Almost at the same time they said, "I don't know where to start".

Sara let out a nervous giggle. "It's been a while since we talked," she was finally able to say.

"Yes," he answered, "It's kind of funny that we would both be here, you know, back on the same campus where it all started."

"A lot has happened since then," Sara said.

Gil stood and started to pace, never had he felt so much tension between the two of them.

"Sara," he said, sweat running down his face, "I have a confession to make. There is a reason why I have been…"

"Avoiding me?" Sara said.

"Yes. I have been," he said, turning away from her, "I've done something that….well that could…..could end our marriage."

Sara stood and walked over to him, all she had heard was "end our marriage".

"You want out?" she questioned.

"I think after you hear what I have to say YOU may want out," he told her as he sat back down.

Grissom looked at the floor and started to tell her what had happened.

"Look at me," she said, "I can't hear a thing you are trying to say."

Gil took her hand and gently pulled her next to him, they were eye to eye.

"I have done something that is unforgivable," he said.

"It can't be as bad as what I did," Sara told him.

Gil looked at her, the look he seen on her face was one that he had not seen in a long time, it was a look of panic.

Gil tenderly took her hand, "Me first."

He then proceeded to tell her all that had happened between him and Amber.

"But you didn't. So you didn't do anything wrong," Sara said.

"I wanted to," Gil said, "Or at least I thought I wanted to. I couldn't."

"At least you remember her name," Sara said.

Gil looked at her, "What?"

Sara told him all that happened, how she had been so upset with him because she couldn't reach him on the phone. She told him how she had gone to the bar and she told him of the young man that first bought her a drink then showed interest in her.

By this time her eyes were full of tears, "I don't even remember his name. All I can remember is that I woke up the next morning in bed with him."

"Did you?" Gil asked, not wanting to say the words 'have sex with him'.

"He said we didn't do anything because I passed out," Sara told him, "I guess I will just have to take him at his word."

"Then you did nothing wrong," Gil said, "Sara, this is all my fault."

Sara looked at him.

"You would have never done what you did if I would have just called you and confessed to you what I had done," he told her, "But I thought you could never forgive me for making such a foolish mistake."

"It's not your fault," Sara said, "It's mine. I know what can happen if I drink to much."

"I should have controlled myself," Gil said, "Being lonely is no excuse for almost breaking my marriage vows."

Sara tenderly stroked his face, "But you didn't. Having to much to drink is no excuse either."

"You didn't do anything," he told her.

"I was so sure that you would never want to….." Sara stopped, knowing Gil knew just what it was that she feared the most.

"I was sure of the same thing," he said, "I wondered how could you want to be with me after what I had done?"

They sat, not saying anything.

"I needed to tell you something important," Sara said, "That is why I had to talk to you."

"Tell me now," he told her.

"We can't keep living this way," she told him, "It was exciting to begin with. What little time we had together was like the first time all over again, so full of passion. But things have changed. I need more, I need…."

"A husband," Gil said, "Not a friend with benefits."

"Yes," Sara said, "I know you love what you are doing. I know it is fulfilling, that it has a purpose."

Gil let out a deep sigh, "That's strange because I was going to tell you the same thing. I need you by my side, sharing life with me. Watching the sun come up. Sara we didn't get married to live apart, we need to make some major decisions about where we want this to go."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Coming right to the point Sara asked him, "Do you want it to end?"

"At first I thought I did," Gil told her, knowing that now is the time for honesty, "I thought that, no I knew that you deserved much more then I thought I was willing to give you."

"I see," Sara said, "I guess if I was perfectly honest with you I would have to say that I was thinking along the same line as you were. Seeing you only every once in a while is no way to have a marriage."

Sara smiled, "I guess Betty was right all along. What kind of a marriage do we have?"

"A messed up one I would say," Gil said, "But I want to fix it. Sara, I love you, I want you to be my wife and I am willing to do anything to make it work."

Sara reached into her pocket and took out a piece of paper, handing it to him she said, "While you were teaching I went to my room to get this."

Gil looked at the paper then back at her, "You can't be serious?"

"I am," she said, "I had every intention of handing that to DB after I was finished here." Then she smiled, "You gave up everything to come to me, I was going to do the same and go to you."

What Sara had handed Gil was a copy of a letter of resignation.

"I can't let you do that," Gil said, "I can't let you give up something that is so much a part of who you are."

Gil walked over to the small desk that was in the room, opening the drawer he handed her a piece of paper too. Sara read it.

"You were going to tell them you were not coming back?" she asked,

"How can I ask you to give up who you are?"

Gil took her in his arms, "There are teaching jobs everywhere."

He kissed her, softly, "Darling it makes no difference where I teach, what matters is that we are together."

"But…" Sara started to say.

"But nothing," Gil said, "As long as you will still have me it's settled. I will send this e mail to Carl and resign. Mom has already spoken to the administrator where she works, there is a position waiting for me."

"It just seems so unfair to ask you to give up everything," Sara said, "I don't want you to feel like I have backed you into a corner."

Gil kissed her, "You are not forcing me to do anything I don't want to. You are what is important, our marriage is what is important. I want to make this work, if you do."

"Yes," Sara said, "I do. I want us to be together."

The next morning Sara once more found herself naked in bed with a man but this time there was no doubt in her mind what had happened.

Clothing was tossed on the floor, sheets in a tangled mess.

Her leg was over his, she was wrapped in his arms. She was still feeling the after effects of her intense orgasm. In the air was a strong musky scent, between her legs was still damp.

She knew a man had made love to her.

She knew she had made love with her husband, the only man she could ever love. The man she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

The End Or should I say THE BEGINNING?


End file.
